From Coast to Coast
The first week my boyfriend, Cai, and I moved to SoCal from Massachusetts, we were shopping at Ralph’s and checking out when the cashier asked how we were doing. We gave the polite, “Fine, how are you” response, expecting her to reply “fine” back. What happened instead was her launching into a story about how tired she was because she had been up with her sick dog most of the night and she had to take him to the vet that morning because she couldn’t get a hold of anyone sooner and how miserable she was waiting for test results because it was probably going to be something expensive and she wouldn’t be able to afford it…
She went on for several minutes, very slowly ringing up our items and sharing more personal details, while Cai and I stood there awkwardly (feeling bad, but still, nothing we could do for her). But the thing that surprised me more was that the line behind us began building and no one seemed to care she was taking so long. People were on their phones or chatting or reading a magazine, seemingly oblivious to what was happening right in front of them. Once we were outside, I said to Cai, “We’re definitely not in Worcester anymore.”
Because if we WERE in Worcester, MA, we never would’ve made it out alive. The line would’ve begun getting longer, people would’ve started grumbling and slamming things around to make noise to let the cashier know there were others waiting, then eventually a mob with pitchforks would’ve skewered everyone involved in the time suck and caused a bloody mess while screaming the Massachusetts motto “Get your shit and go!”
That’s the landscape I grew up in, so that’s what I’m most comfortable with. It’s true what they say—people are more brash and forthright in the Northeast. There’s no boring small talk because we all have places to go and things to do. I remember going out to eat with some of Cai’s family who came to visit us in Orange, and every time the waitress came over to talk to us, it became a 5-minute conversation. Eventually Cai’s brother said, “How annoying! I wish she would just let us enjoy the food and talk to each other. That’s what we’re here for.” I totally agreed.
You can take the girl out of the Northeast, but you can’t take the Northeast attitude out of the girl. Even though we’ve been here almost 8 years, I still get surprised when someone starts a banal conversation with me in the elevator. My brain immediately jumps to, “Really? You HAVE to talk about how it’s hot but it’s a dry heat?” I’m more used to a sarcastic reference about the world literally going to hell that starts some entertaining banter. I prefer my pleasantries with a healthy heaping of BS.
I’d always heard how different the two coasts were, but I didn’t realize just HOW different until we came here. Here, things move slower, people move slower (except the zig-zagging racers on the freeway). We were out in a group years ago at dinner before going to a play on the Chapman campus, and my friend from New York was getting antsy as the start time got closer. So a handful of us left to walk to campus, leaving the rest to catch up. When we were almost to the theatre, they were coming from a different direction and someone jokingly asked, “Hey guys, wanna grab a coffee before the show?” and my friend said, “NO! In New York, theatre is something you get to 15 minutes early!” LOL
Honestly, I think that’s why a lot of my friends are transplants. And not just from other parts of the country, but other countries as well. I gotta admit, that is one thing I love about this area—the variety of different cultures represented in the food and stores. The weather, as much as I don’t want to chit-chat about it, is beautiful most of the time, and I rarely have to check it before planning something. I’ve totally become that person posting pictures on Facebook of the palm trees in December while friends and family back home are griping about the latest snowstorm. And I’ve been hiking on a regular basis, which has helped me become healthier as well, and I was NEVER a nature girl.
So while I still work in a fast-paced industry (something the Northeast attitude remains good for), I’ve also learned to slow down and look around, Ferris Bueller-style. And even though I’ve had to explain that something snarky I said deadpan was a joke (on SEVERAL occasions), I’ve also found my local and non-local peeps who get me. That I can definitely appreciate.